Mercury will go direct tomorrow after being retrograde for the past few weeks. Yay!
One thing I do try to take time out for and do during Mercury retrogrades is contemplate what's happening in my life and what lessons might be moving through my life. And this time I got to thinking about perceptions of priestesses.
One thing I do try to take time out for and do during Mercury retrogrades is contemplate what's happening in my life and what lessons might be moving through my life. And this time I got to thinking about perceptions of priestesses.
When I was little, it seemed to me that deeply spiritual people were so cool and calm, so together, so patient, so loving and kind and I could think of nothing more than wanting to be just like that. At the time, in my childhood, these people I encountered were largely Christian. But then as I grew older and encountered people from other faiths, it all seemed the same. Deeply spiritual people = cool, calm, patient, loving, kind. In short - having your shit together.
When I came in to Paganism, I guess I thought I would eventually achieve those qualities within myself, especially when I stepped onto the winding priestess path. I had such an idealised view of what being a priestess meant and how a priestesses behaved- thanks to perceptions formed throughout childhood and early adulthood of those who are spiritually inclined.
HA! I eventually learned it's not necessarily always like that. In fact, more often than not, priestesses and priests have the same problems and issues the rest of us do. Who'duv thunk! And they rage and cry and scream just the same as anyone else might in certain situations. Wow! Geeze, one might think they're actually, I don't know, HUMAN!
Priestess training was an eye opening experience in letting go of priestess perceptions and ideology. We're all "in process". We all have our flaws, our issues, our insecurities. I also learned that actually, that's A-ok. It's not my job to be a saint or a perfect paradigm of whatever - humanity, priestesshood, insert-term-of-choice.
I discussed these things with a sister priestess last night and we agreed - as priestesses, we can be wonderfully cool, calm, collected, together, etc. It's because we are channelling our archetypal priestess selves that we are. We're in a different head and heart space. And there's a part of that that is always with us. It's always there coming through. But....
Personally, more often than not, I'm no where close to having my shit together. I'm notoriously indecisive. I'm impatient. I range from a little insecure to deeply insecure (depending upon the situation). I get angry and upset. I can be unreasonable and childish. Sometimes, I just screw things up no matter how hard I try not to.
I'm no where close to being pious and saintly and perfect. And you know? I feel a great freedom in admitting that. I am a spiritual being having a human experience and I throw open my arms to it and say, "Ok, bring it on. Give me life, give me pain, give me myself again ala Tori Amos please!"
Unfortunately, though, this doesn't stop others from projecting their own ideas and perceptions of what they think a priestess should be onto those who dare to stand up and call themselves Priestess. It doesn't stop some from using those ideas and perceptions as a figurative rod for a priestess' back when the priestess says or does something they believe to be out of character for what a priestess should be. "How can you call yourself a priestess when you say this or do that?"
I have seen this happen many times to sister priestesses, brother priests and it's happened to me. When it does, I can't help but wonder what is REALLY happening in the heart and mind of the accuser. What has led them to have such a rigid perception of what a priestess should be or say or do? Or I sometimes wonder if it's just a convenient way to take a cheap shot to bring someone down. Entirely possible, I suppose.
When these situations come about, we can only hold our heads up and say, "I am a priestess AND a human being. Here I am - flawed and imperfect. Take me as I am for I will never be anything less than that and it is not my job to live up to your expectations."
And after having to let go of my own perceptions and ideas about these things, I find I can only ask Goddess to grant me patience while others learn to heal and let go of theirs, and/or grant them healing for their own wounding. Can't promise I'll be perfectly patient while that happens, but I keep trying. :)
When I came in to Paganism, I guess I thought I would eventually achieve those qualities within myself, especially when I stepped onto the winding priestess path. I had such an idealised view of what being a priestess meant and how a priestesses behaved- thanks to perceptions formed throughout childhood and early adulthood of those who are spiritually inclined.
HA! I eventually learned it's not necessarily always like that. In fact, more often than not, priestesses and priests have the same problems and issues the rest of us do. Who'duv thunk! And they rage and cry and scream just the same as anyone else might in certain situations. Wow! Geeze, one might think they're actually, I don't know, HUMAN!
Priestess training was an eye opening experience in letting go of priestess perceptions and ideology. We're all "in process". We all have our flaws, our issues, our insecurities. I also learned that actually, that's A-ok. It's not my job to be a saint or a perfect paradigm of whatever - humanity, priestesshood, insert-term-of-choice.
I discussed these things with a sister priestess last night and we agreed - as priestesses, we can be wonderfully cool, calm, collected, together, etc. It's because we are channelling our archetypal priestess selves that we are. We're in a different head and heart space. And there's a part of that that is always with us. It's always there coming through. But....
Personally, more often than not, I'm no where close to having my shit together. I'm notoriously indecisive. I'm impatient. I range from a little insecure to deeply insecure (depending upon the situation). I get angry and upset. I can be unreasonable and childish. Sometimes, I just screw things up no matter how hard I try not to.
I'm no where close to being pious and saintly and perfect. And you know? I feel a great freedom in admitting that. I am a spiritual being having a human experience and I throw open my arms to it and say, "Ok, bring it on. Give me life, give me pain, give me myself again ala Tori Amos please!"
Unfortunately, though, this doesn't stop others from projecting their own ideas and perceptions of what they think a priestess should be onto those who dare to stand up and call themselves Priestess. It doesn't stop some from using those ideas and perceptions as a figurative rod for a priestess' back when the priestess says or does something they believe to be out of character for what a priestess should be. "How can you call yourself a priestess when you say this or do that?"
I have seen this happen many times to sister priestesses, brother priests and it's happened to me. When it does, I can't help but wonder what is REALLY happening in the heart and mind of the accuser. What has led them to have such a rigid perception of what a priestess should be or say or do? Or I sometimes wonder if it's just a convenient way to take a cheap shot to bring someone down. Entirely possible, I suppose.
When these situations come about, we can only hold our heads up and say, "I am a priestess AND a human being. Here I am - flawed and imperfect. Take me as I am for I will never be anything less than that and it is not my job to live up to your expectations."
And after having to let go of my own perceptions and ideas about these things, I find I can only ask Goddess to grant me patience while others learn to heal and let go of theirs, and/or grant them healing for their own wounding. Can't promise I'll be perfectly patient while that happens, but I keep trying. :)
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